Welcome back to the BLiNC weekly newsletter! I’m Bianca Lager, and I give one-on-one advice to business leaders about tricky career conversations and business moves. We’re all just trying to get by, make it through our day, get to Friday, and to the fun stuff. Sometimes, these things can be really difficult.
I’ve been a people boss for many years, building businesses and managing teams for a long time, and, you know what? People seem to like my advice, so maybe you should listen. Here is our question of the week from our anonymous advice section:
"I am the founder of a small e-commerce startup (congratulations, good for you!), and I’ve been working around the clock to get the business off the ground. Recently, I hired a close friend to handle our marketing and social media efforts, but I’m starting to have doubts about their performance and whether they’re the right fit for the role. I’m hesitant to terminate their employment because I value our personal relationship, but I’m concerned their lack of productivity may be holding the company back. Is there a way to get advice on how to handle this without damaging our friendship?"
This is such a tricky situation! Many companies hire friends or former coworkers, and it doesn’t always work out. Especially when it’s your business and you personally hired them, it makes things even tougher. I’ve literally been in this situation, and I know how hard it can be.
So, can your friendship survive this? Maybe. It depends on how you handle it. You have two main options: One, you can create specific goals for them without directly putting them on a performance improvement plan. You could approach it by saying, “Let’s take a different approach,” and schedule one-on-one meetings with clear, measurable goals. This will take work on your part, but it might help if you think, “Maybe I haven’t given them enough direction, or I need to be a better leader.”
However, small businesses need people who take initiative. You probably don’t have the time to hand-hold someone through everything, and if that’s what this person needs, it’s not the right fit. You could hire a consultant to coach them, or try to do it yourself, but don’t be fooled. The second time you go through something like this, you’ll know when someone isn’t the right fit for your company. It doesn’t mean they aren’t great, but they might not be what your business needs at this stage.
If you decide to move on, the conversation with your friend can still be respectful. Be direct: “Some projects need to move faster, so I’ve decided to hire an agency to handle some of the work you were doing. I know this puts you out of a job, and I really appreciate your trust in coming on board. Here’s three months of salary. Thank you, and I wish you the best.” Of course, in a small startup, you might not be able to afford that, but the idea is to offer as much stability as possible.
You already know you need to move on. If your friend is truly close, you may be able to have an open, candid conversation. But you have to be clear about what’s not working. If they push back and ask for another chance, and you know it’s not right, you’ll need to weigh the possibility that your friendship may take a hit.
It’s always tricky to mix business and friendships. Can your friendship survive this? Yes, it’s possible. Be clear, direct, and respectful, and provide clarity on exactly what’s not working and what you want to do next. If your friend reacts poorly, it might hurt, but in the end, a reasonable conversation should result in a reasonable response. You don’t need unnecessary drama in your life.
Take a deep breath. There is a way to navigate this, but be prepared for the possibility that the friendship might not survive, or it could take a while to recover. Do what’s best for your business, be kind, offer support where you can, and move forward with the confidence that you’re making the right decision. If you know now that this isn’t working, it will still be true in two months or a year, and the situation will only get worse. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
Good luck! This one is tricky. Alright, guys, I’ll see you next week! Bye for now.
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